the idiot who keeps believing in luck


House of Leaves [Book Review]

Wednesday, October 27, 2010


Imagine a house that is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.

My relationship with Mark Z. Danielewski's House of Leaves began with a conversation in which I claimed—several times, quite proudly—that I don't get scared by scary books.

Horror movies? No thank you. When it comes to scary movies I am admittedly a complete wuss. Like for real. I still occasionally complain about my traumatic viewing of Shaun of the Dead.

But a book? At one point in high school I really tried to get into the whole horror fiction genre, but it didn't do a thing for me. I was often bored and more often just grossed-out by the "scary books" I attempted. But I've never been scared by a book.

Until House of Leaves.

Me saying that this novel—if you can even call it a "novel" (more on that in a minute)—is scary doesn't really describe the experience of sitting down with its daunting 700+ pages.

Reading House of Leaves made me feel at times both deeply disturbed and extremely exhausted; it can be thought-provoking and also downright annoying; this is a book that made me literally jump out of my seat with fright (ask Kelsey, she was there) and it made me laugh out loud; reading Leaves can be described as an extremely unsettling and lonely experience.

I really recommend this book very highly, but my recommendation comes with a disclaimer:

Reading this book is WORK.

Danielewski toys with the very conventions of modern prose. Half of the narrative is revealed through expansive footnotes and appendices. Entire plot interpretations hinge on the author's use of varying typographical fonts and text colors. At one point reading this book required me to hold it up to a mirror.

Yes. It's that kind of book.

You really should seriously consider reading it. But like I said, it's not a leisurely endeavor. I didn't dare attempt to tackle Leaves on the hustle-and-bustle of the subway—most of my reading was exiled to quiet corners of my apartment where I could temporarily isolate myself from distracting sights, sounds, and human beings.

But it's a rewarding story. And it is—in addition to many other things—quite scary.

Honesty

Saturday, October 2, 2010

So I have unceremoniously returned to my blog after a months-long hiatus. This is the part where I should talk about how I've rekindled my passion for blogging—how I'm back for good. But that wouldn't be fair to you or me. We deserve better. Who knows how long I'll keep up the blogging this time. Let's face it, I'm a mystery. I could write another post tomorrow. Or I may wait until the wind changes.

You know, like Marry Poppins.

Only I spend less time riding in English fox hunts that take place inside of chalk drawings. In fact, I hardly ever do that.

And this truly (more or less) gets at the theme of this post.

Honesty.


This sign was posted on the service entrance of my apartment building. Wow. Check out that honesty.

I'd like to salute whoever took the time to create and display this sign. It really is such a human gesture. It's as if the sign is saying, "You know what? Life isn't perfect. Sometimes things don't work the way they're supposed to. You can try your luck, it could be your night. Or you might have to walk around the building and use the main entrance."

No empty promises. No platitudes. No half-hearted apologies.

No "Sorry for the inconvenience :) -The Mgmt"

Honesty.

The Bechdel Test

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

So today /Film (that's "slashfilm") posted this article on their blog, which describes something called The Bechdel Test, after comic strip illustrator Alison Bechdel.

In Bechdel's 1985 comic strip Dykes to Watch Out For she presents "The Rule," which shockingly illustrates the underrepresentation of women in Hollywood films. For a film to pass The Bechdel Test it must only pass three simple rules:
  1. The film must have at least two female characters with names.
  2. These two female characters must at some point during the movie talk to each other.
  3. They have to talk about something besides a man.
Seems pretty easy, right? Actually, a staggering number of movies DO NOT pass this simple test.

The website www.bechdeltest.com keeps a running tally of movies that pass and fail The Bechdel Test. Here are some movies—both recent and older—that fail this basic test of female representation in film (Oh, and all of these movies were either nominated for or won an Oscar):

The Hurt Locker, Slumdog Millionaire, Avatar, District 9, Up in the Air, The Fantasitc Mr. Fox, Star Trek, Up, The Dark Knight, Kung Fu Panda, The Wrestler, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Finding Nemo, Ice Age, The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, A Beautiful Mind, Shrek, Fight Club, Toy Story I and II

In fact, bechdeltest.com keeps track of which IMDB Top 250 films have been graded. Out of the 97 submitted to the site, only 25 have passed. Clearly this is a problem even in the very "best" of our movies (notice the quotes).

I wonder what this says about the state of Hollywood and how it represents our collective attitudes toward women. Why is it that women, who represent half of all moviegoers, are so much less likely to see themselves represented on the big screen?

I wonder what lessons we teach young girls (and boys) about themselves by overlooking women so blatantly at the cinema—which after all is one of our most powerful modern cultural authorities?

Please enjoy the original comic strip and show it to your friends.

Also, you can watch this great video about The Bechdel Test.

Worldviews and Values in the Workplace [MICROLESSON]

Saturday, March 6, 2010

This post is the first in what I hope will be a series of "microlessons." I want to take things I'm learning in grad school and present them in an abbreviated format for those who are interested. I think a lot of what I'm learning isn't specific to counseling psychology, and can be applied to life outside of academia. I'm very fortunate to have the means to attend one of the premier universities in the country; I hope through these microlessons I can share a little of what I'm learning in school with the world beyond the "ivory tower."

As a graduate student studying counseling psychology I have been exposed to many, many different models of thinking about and understanding people. Some of them are simple, others frustratingly complex. Rarely (if ever) does one theory or model attempt to explain the whole human condition. Almost always a psychologist or theorist choses a single aspect of personality, development, or behavior to explore and define. These models vary widely in subject, from occupational growth to personality formation to racial identity development.

Every once in a while I'll encounter a theory or model that resonates with me. I'd like to share one of these with you. I think this particular model gives us a helpful way of looking at individual and group differences, and I think the psychologist who constructed the inventory I'll be sharing with you puts an optimistic spin on it all.

When we talk about worldview in the realm of psychology we talk about how a person perceives her or his relationship to the world. Often we don't think about ourselves as having a particular worldview. This is mostly because we acquire our "worldview lens" at a very young age. It's easy to forget that not everyone sees the world through the same lens as we do.

A worldview can be broken down into different attitudes and values. For example, we can examine a person's attitude toward time, relationships, nature, or activity. I may have a different outlook toward interpersonal relationships than you have. And as you can imagine, my worldview is going to affect how I relate to you, how I communicate with you, and even how I might value you in relation to other people (who may share my own worldview).

There is nothing wrong with worldviews. We all have them. But what is important is that we understand what our own worldviews and values are, and how other people might have different values. Having this mutual understanding helps us communicate and collaborate more effectively. Knowing a little about your own lens can make you effective, and knowing about the lenses of others can make you empathic.

Paula Chu, one of the many psychologists who study systems of cultural worldviews, published an inventory in 1996 that helps us measure our worldview. This inventory looks at attitudes toward the four dimensions I mentioned above: time, relationships, nature, and activity.

Chu's inventory resonated with me because she looks specifically at how our worldviews and values relate to our attitudes toward work. I think that understanding how we exist in the workplace is universally valuable (at least for everyone who will ever have a job).

That said, click here to take the Personal Value Orientations Inventory. It will take 5-10 minutes. Go ahead and score it, and read what the author has to say about each worldview. Then meet me back here to "process" what you've learned.

PROCESS QUESTIONS
  • Did you feel that Chu's inventory accurately assessed your worldviews toward time, relationships, nature, and activity?
  • What was it like responding to the statements? Were some harder to rank than others? Were some very easy to rank?
  • Out of the 12 questions, which statement did you have the strongest reaction to (either positive or negative)? What do you think that says about how closely you hold that corresponding value?
  • If you haven't done so yet, read all of the explanations on the last three pages. What was it like reading them? What resonated with you?
  • How do you think a coworker with a different orientation toward relationships might work with you? What about a coworker with a different orientation toward activity? How would you work with a coworker who doesn't share any of your orientations?
  • What about a boss with different value orientations?
  • Do you think your company or organization has a dominant worldview? Do you share the dominant worldview?
  • How would the everyday work experience be different for a worker who shares the dominant worldview and one who does not?
  • Why is it important that a company or organization recognizes all value orientations as valid?
It's important to remember the limitations of Chu's inventory. If you take it again tomorrow some answers might change based on your mood. This is a very basic way of looking at complex ideas, but the underlying lessons are the same.

It is a fact of life that for most people the workplace is the most diverse social setting they will regularly be in. The people we work alongside professionally are typically more varied and different from ourselves than the people in our schools, in our neighborhoods, and in our families. In fact, this is one of the most enriching parts of work life. Thus, understanding how we see each other through our worldview lens is an essential part of coexistence, inside the workplace and out.

If you'd like to compare your scores with another person's you can look at my scored Personal Value Orientations Inventory.

8 Answers I Expect From the LOST Finale

Thursday, March 4, 2010

For a couple of years now I've been a devotee of the show that's known best for asking questions. Now, four episodes deep into the sixth and final season, I find myself wondering, "What questions are they finally, FINALLY going to answer?"

I'm not expecting the writers to wrap up everything with a pretty Dharma-issued bow on top. I'm sure some things will be left quite wide open to interpretation. But I personally think that if LOST can answer these eight questions it will go down as one of the greats.

That said, I'd like to know what questions are on your list?

"I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end." -Margaret Thatcher

1. Why are these people special?

We've seen how each character's backstory--each person's "unfinished business" or "baggage" or whatever you want to call it--led them to the island. And we watched how all of these characters' lives intersect in past, present, future, and "flash-sideways" world. They are all connected in some way that is significant. I want to know what is special about them as a group. Why were they all on the plane that brought them to the island?

The word destiny has been thrown around a lot on this show, and I'm fine if that's part of the grand reveal we're all expecting in the last couple of episodes. But the show needs to go further to explain why these individuals share a common destiny.

2. The characters need to have a final moment of redemption and change.

Let me clarify. We're all familiar with each survivor's baggage: Jack doesn't have what it takes, Kate needs to run, Sayid is a torturer, Hurley thinks he's cursed, Locke needs a purpose, etc. They've become the LOST archetypes that we've come to accept (unfortunately, I think the writers have been relying on our acceptance to walk us through the last season or two of plot plot plot).

What I want is a satisfying catharsis for these characters. What is Jack going to do when he realizes he does have what it takes (and not because Jacob told him, mind you). What will Kate do when she finally stops running?

I personally hope that the writers recognize that this will be the climactic moment of the show. Not a hypothetical showdown between Jacob and the MiB, or Ben and Widmore. Let's be honest, while those are important parts of the mythology that is LOST, they are storylines that have only been fully revealed to us for a season or two. But we've all been waiting for Jack to get over his daddy issues since episode 1.

The biggest trick the writers ever pulled was convincing the world that LOST is a sci-fi show. It's not. LOST is a character drama that just so happens to involve time travel. And that's why it's so damn good.

3. I don't care what the island is. I want to know what it does.

I'm actually comfortable not knowing what the island is. And I'm not convinced we'll ever get a specific answer. But I do want to know what powers the island has that makes it so desirable. It can heal people, but women who get pregnant there die. It's not the afterlife, but there do seem to be an awful lot of dead people walking around. It's unplottable (unless you have a submarine or a giant magical pendulum), it can move, it can time travel. Oh, and it seems to have the uncanny ability to force its temporary residents to deal with their issues. Bum bum bum... DESTINY!

I want an explanation. What does the island do and why?

4. Who are the Others?

We've been patient.

First they were the mystical protectors of the island who didn't wear shoes and didn't leave tracks and seemed (let's be honest) magical. Then they weren't all that scary, they lived in abandoned Dharmaville, they wore neatly pressed shirts and listened to Patsy Cline records and ate grilled cheese sandwiches. Then they were back to dressing in rags, living in an ancient temple (complete with fountain of youth!), and wishing Jacob had come up with a hieroglyph for "sonic fence."

They were the island's natives, then we found out that really, a lot of them were brought over by Ben & Co. Except for maybe the ones who were trying to microwave coconuts with hydrogen bombs in the 50s. Oh, and then there's that guy with the eyeliner.

We've been very patient. Please reward us with a straight answer. Who are the Others?

5. Jack & Kate & Sawyer

I'm a little worried. The ridiculous love triangle that's been triangling since season one has gotten stagnant in these last few episodes. But I feel that no LOST ending will feel right without some sort of resolution here. And the resolution has got to feel genuine. It's got to feel worth the six seasons it took to get there. And it's got to unfold in a way that could only happen in the final act.

6. Jack's Dad

He's been there from the beginning, I'm willing to bet he'll be there at the end. He is without a doubt the character most connected with everyone else. He's not the smoke monster because when the smoke monster took Locke's form it left his real body behind, and we all know that Christian Shepard's casket was quite empty when it crashed on the island. Who is he? And what has he been up to all this time?

7. The Whispers

Need to know.

8. [CUT TO: Eye Opening]

The famous LOST camera-shot may be my favorite motif. I desperately want it to be significant to the meaning of the show.

Good Music for a Good Cause [VIDEO]

Monday, March 1, 2010

Many of my talented friends performed at the Second Annual Acappellooza concert in College Station this past weekend. It's been amazing to watch HardChord Dynamix take what started last spring as a modest, local concert and turn it into the huge event that it now is. This year's concert showcased collegiate a cappella talent from all over Texas, and all proceeds benefited VH1's Save The Music Foundation.

You can see videos of all of the performances here. Huge shoutout to Lawrence Huo for recording the concert for us long distance fans. Check out some of his work on his blog!

However, I feel compelled to direct your attention to two videos in particular.

The first is HardChord DynaMix performing Love, Save the Empty by Erin McCarley. The beautiful and talented soloist is my amazing girlfriend Kelsey. Isn't she great?!



The second is the finale group performance of Queen's Somebody To Love. All three Texas A&M a cappella groups teamed up for this one - HardChord DynaMix, The Femmatas, and Apotheosis. Wow.


The Musical Brain

Sunday, February 21, 2010

This great BBC article discusses some of the amazing research being done on music and the brain. Scientists have found that stroke patients who have lost the ability to speak can regain this ability by learning to sing their words.

It seems that we use a different part of our brain to sing than to process everyday spoken language. In fact, professional singers have a highly developed "singing center," which is located in the right hemisphere of the brain (the "creative" half of the brain). And not only is singing different than spoken language, but it appears that listening to music engages the brain in a dramatically different way than normal audition.

If you've got a minute you should check out the article. And if you've got three minutes you can listen to Measuring Cups by Andrew Bird while you read (my favorite song about brains).

And if you really like learning about the incredible role music plays in the human brain, I highly recommend Musicophilia by the one and only Oliver Sacks.

Snow Day [MOVIE & PICS]

Friday, February 12, 2010

I've returned from my blogging hiatus to share/brag about what has become a defining New York City adventure for me. Manhattan got caught in quite the snowstorm this Wednesday, which resulted in my school closing.

So as any self-respecting students would, my roommate Shannon and I decided to go to Central Park and play in the snow.


You can also find my pictures from the excursion on Picasa.